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Another decade lived and relentless in 2019

In the past decade…

I’ve graduated college from the University of Las Vegas, NV with a degree in Broadcast Journalism & Media Studies, minor in theatre.

I started my television career at FOX 5 in Las Vegas Vegas behind the scenes as an Assignment Editor.

I landed my first on air reporting position, kicking off myTV career in Sioux Falls, South Dakota where I grew up most of my childhood.

I accepted a reporter position in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma where I relocated on my own, without friends or family.

I met my now husband Ryan at a CrossFit gym in OKC.

We adopted two doggies, Oklahoma rescues, Cowboy Buck & Dixie.

I competed in multiple bodybuilding shows having placed top 3 in two of them.

We got engaged on the rooftop of our loft in downtown OKC.

We got married on a farm in OKC.

We traveled to Southeast Asia for our Honeymoon; Dubai, Thailand, Malaysia and India.

I left my television career to become an entrepreneur.

We relocated to the east coast after my Husband got a job in New York City.

I launched my first business Legg Day Fitness.

We bought our first home.

We suffered 3 miscarriages.

We suffered 4 failed insemination fertility treatments.

I gave an official TEDxOU talk.

I hosted my first in person health & wellness event called the Legg Up In Life Movement.

We signed the official paperwork for IVF to start January 2020.

What a whirlwind! Writing out 10 years of life like that, line by line, year after year, all in one decade seems like a dream, but it was all very much real and has shaped who I am today. So many adventures, failures, wins, life lessons and more.

Before we head into a 2019 recap, I want to look back to how I left 2018.

“Wow. What a year. So much pain. So much heartbreak. So many learning lessons. So much love. So much hope. So much freaking RESILIENCY. My designated word for the year when it started was THRIVE but RESILIENCY is more fitting now, because we survived every battle.

I've accepted it's ok to be human, to feel all the feels, to melt down, fall into a hole, be upset, confused, doubtful, scared but I learned it's NOT OK to stay there. I've learned how to refocus on where we're headed. I've learned to look at the problem, have faith in solutions and to be open minded to what lessons are trying to teach me. This year I've learned patience, forgiveness, to be more kind to be my body, to really dig deep into my mental health/self care practices, to appreciate the simple things in life and to have an abundance mindset when it comes to our fertility journey and my business. I'm ready for 2019. I'm sure as hell confident that I can face whatever comes my way. I've been in survival mode all year and I've made it. I'm here. I'm alive. My heart is beating. I'm hopeful. I refuse to give up and will fight the fight.”

Little did I know the continued struggle 2019 would bring but reading how tough my mindset can be makes me proud of the woman I continue to become. One with a big heart, compassion, love, fight and grit. 2019’s theme word was RELENTLESS.

Relentless in our efforts trying to conceive, relentless in my efforts making self care strategies a priority, relentless in my efforts to love my body despite it’s incapabilities but to appreciate what I do have, which is my able and resilient body. Relentless in my husband and I’s efforts to strengthen our relationship despite turmoil. Relentless in my efforts to excel my business, believing in my purpose and having an abundance mindset. Relentless in my decision to put my happiness and well-being first and to do things that make me happy!

Here’s how 2019 life's lessons have made me more wise...

Facing infertility, miscarriages, trying to conceive after miscarriages and undergoing fertility treatments has rocked our world in a complicated way, but there are blessings in every setback. I've learned...

Patience-The trying to conceive process is a lot of hurry up & wait.

Opportunity-We have access to incredible treatment & have insurance to help us through. Our fertility specialists are baby making pros and their #1 goal is to help get us pregnant.

Openness-I never thought I'd be having public convos about periods, sperm, relations (still can't even say the "s" word haha).

Compromise-If my husband & I can get through this, we can get through anything.

Connection-Sharing our story has connected me with so many of you and YOU have offered us so much strength, hope & encouragement.

I’ve also learned how to not let those negative emotions run wild when they show up time and time again. As humans, we are emotionally wired. We feel EVERYTHING, from the heart beaming happy moments to the dark raging dark ones. Most of 2019 I was on fertility hormones and felt like my emotional senses intensified significantly and not always in a good way, but in a destructive way. To combat those negative feelings, I started writing my emotions down, letting my thoughts spill out freely on paper. There's something so calming about taking control of your emotions, it's a release that soothes the emotional challenges, rather than fuel them. Self care strategies are not selfish, they are necessary and can be life changing.

Heading into 2020, this is the year I attempt to plant more seed habits to grow into the best version of myself. What’s at the top of my list? Stay tuned! Sharing my personal development seeds, health seeds, relationship seeds and work seeds tomorrow. Sending you love, strength, hope and passion as we close out one decade and head into another.

<3 Ash

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